Sardines is a game for kids, not job seekers

I recently went to a job fair hosted by a very well known online job site. I had very high expectations for this job fair. After my last experience with job fairs, how could this one be worse?

Well, here are just a few ways:

1. Only 10 employers were present. The website and e-mail registration response listed these employers and dutifully noted "and many more!"
2. Lack of direction. This job fair was hosted in a very big convention-center-like professional building. This places hosts weddings, conferences, and the city's visitor center. People in suits were wandering around in every corridor asking each other for directions.
3. Very low ROI. My return on investment was zilch. I spent $14.50 in transportation and parking fees to talk to one employer who advised me to look online for other jobs since he didn't know if his company was hiring for people with my expertise.
4. Sardines is a fun game, when you're 8. This is perhaps the most disappointing aspect of this entire production.

When I was young, all the neighborhood kids would get together and play Sardines. This is basically a reverse hide-and-seek game. One person hides and everyone else counts to 100. As people find the hidden person, they hide together. The loser is the last person to find the hidden group. As you can imagine, towards the end of the game everyone looks like packed sardines in a tin can. This is a fun game, especially played outdoors at dusk, for KIDS.

The unemployed (current or future) do not enjoy being smushed together in small spaces like sardines. Rather we enjoy having the freedom to move our hands to scratch our faces or move our heads to look at the next employer that we plan to meet. Furthermore, we like to know that the host of the fair truly cares about us. One of the ways a host can show that they care is by maximizing the entire space of the conference hall.

If the conference hall is as big as a football field, it is OK to use the entire space; even if only 10 employers are present. In fact, I implore that the entire space be used. Unfortunately, the host of this job fair did not consult me. As a result, over 300 people were packed into a space the size of a Starbucks, while the rest of the hall remained completely empty.

Lines to get in to the hall trickled into the large corridor, no doubt disturbing the business meetings in the rest of the building. Once inside, it was a battle to find the right employer line to stand in. "Are you in line for Aflac or General Dynamics?" Some people were nice, but most were not. "Hey you, the line starts back there. No skipping."

Think about how edgy people are when they stand in line for a concert with general admission. Now add an extra layer of unemployment. Yeah...not pretty.

After standing in two lines for over 20 minutes, I talked to one employer for 3 minutes.

**Lesson learned: Logistics are everything.

Resistance is Never Futile

Earlier this week I attended an information session targeted for those of us who "are being offered severance packages." My understanding of this meeting was that the future organization would be talking to the soon-to-be unemployed about benefits, 401(K), etc. This sounded a lot like a lion describing its own digestive system to a zebra. The actual session was much worse.

After hearing about the history of the organization, each of the presenters shared how delighted they were about our companies merging together. The leader of the team went even further by stating, "If you look out our history, we've done many acquisitions just like this." I silently wondered if she realized that the only people benefiting from this acquisition were the people doing all the talking.

As a training and development professional, I know that one of the worst things that can happen while facilitating a workshop is to have resistance from the audience and the worst kind of resistance is silence. In my opinion, one of the main reasons for silence in a classroom is lack of trust between speaker and audience. These presenters got silence.

One person was from a "Transition Services" firm (outplacement agency) that the organization hired. She was amiable and made a valiant effort in opening up the crowd. Unfortunately, there were no takers. I finally threw her a bone and asked a question about their services...too bad the answer was so disappointing.

This may sound a bit conceited, but I consider myself to be a relatively nice person and, in general, I try to cut people some slack. At this particular meeting I just couldn't. Throughout the rest of the presentation, the following sentence was repeated at least three times: "The information on this slide pertains to those who are staying through the acquisition. That doesn't really apply to anyone here today."

None the less, the information was good. Sort of. Everything that was shared in the session could have been done via webinar or teleconference or e-mail. The only nice part about the meeting was getting to see my colleagues. Perhaps for the last time.

**Lesson learned: Know your audience.

Job Fairs are Smelly

Three weeks ago I was informed that my employment would cease in the very near future. As a result, I have been doing what 8% of the population has been doing - looking for a job.

My first venture was to attend a public job fair. For those few of you who have no idea what a job fair is, let me break it down for you. Employers come to a large facility (imagine your high school gym), set up booths, and talk to people about potential jobs. The current or future unemployed walk around and inquire about available positions and hand out resumes like candy on Halloween.

As a former manager, I have attended job fairs on the employer side of the table. In previous years, this was a very easy part of my job. In fact, I often looked forward to going "out there" to meet the public. Below is a rough example of a job fair conversation eight years ago:

Employer: Hi! Welcome to My Company's booth. My name is Hiring Manager. What kind of job are you looking for?

Candidate: Hello, my name is Job Seeker. I have extensive work experience in Your Field of Expertise. I have been employed with My Current Company for the last two years and I am interested in expanding my skills so that I can actively contribute to an organization that values innovation, hard work, and business ethics.

E: Wonderful! You sound like the perfect candidate. Go ahead and complete this application. Once you are finished, I will interview you. If you have a resume, I'd love to see it.

C: Excellent. Here's my resume. Do you have a pen I can borrow?

***

This candidate was probably hired on the spot.

Fast forward to the job fair I attended last week. Here's an example of a conversation I overheard:

Employer: Hi. We're currently hiring for one Open Position. Do you think you are qualified?

Candidate: Yes. My name is Desperate Job Seeker and I was recently laid off from Your Company's Competitor where I worked for over ten years. My most recent accomplishment was to initiate an internal review of our current work flow processes. After extensive recommendations, I was able to save my company over $20 thousand simply by streamlining the way we handle our external customer inquiries.

E: OK. Yeah, sure, that sounds great. Here's our website. You can see all our jobs and fill out an application. We're not currently taking resumes at this job fair. I don't have any business cards either. Good luck.

***

This person was probably not hired. Instead, she was herded into the next booth, shoved into another waiting line of a company that she did not know and started to perspire (again) with a mixture of expected nervousness and unexpected desperation.

The bad thing is that she wasn't the only person perspiring; and we all know that if a lot of people are perspiring at least one of them forgot to use deodorant. Just like it only takes one obnoxious person to ruin a dinner party, it only takes one smelly person to ruin a job fair.

Once I did a quick whiff check, I tried to guess who the culprit was. I considered the balding man with the too-small suit and the gray haired woman who dabbed her forehead with a dingy white tissue three times in twenty seconds. Both of them seemed likely candidates. The smell became overwhelming. At five feet, I am nose level with most armpits - a very uncomfortable position in a room of 1,000 people. I spent approximately 45 minutes at this job fair.

I didn't pick up any business cards and I didn't leave any resumes. Instead, I quickly walked through the maze of booths while breathing through my mouth. I made it to the end of the cramped hallway and pushed myself through the door to chilled fresh air and freedom.

I am planning to attend another public job fair this week.

**Lesson learned: Keep deodorant in the car at all times.