Over the last few days, however, life is no longer the picture perfect image I always dreamed I would have. Don't get me wrong...my spouse still has a wonderful job, my boss is still fabulous, and our Wii works just fine. The problem is with life itself.
Two dear friends have decided to part ways. I struggle with what that means for our Friday night gatherings. I struggle to imagine either of them without the other. I struggle with what to say to one who is happy and the other who is not.
My
marriage is strong and I am head over heels in love. Everyday we laugh together. But I can't help but wonder about our relationship. If we ever decided to split up, who would move out? Who would be the one who was not happy? I often joke that I would move in with his mother because we have such a good relationship. He often jokes that he would stalk me because he couldn't live without me. Are these just jokes we say out loud to protect ourselves from the insecurities we have inside?
marriage is strong and I am head over heels in love. Everyday we laugh together. But I can't help but wonder about our relationship. If we ever decided to split up, who would move out? Who would be the one who was not happy? I often joke that I would move in with his mother because we have such a good relationship. He often jokes that he would stalk me because he couldn't live without me. Are these just jokes we say out loud to protect ourselves from the insecurities we have inside?
b.jpg)
It's a good thing you have control of your own behavior to influence at least one half of the fate of your relationship. Everything else is perspective and chance. And bear in mind that within every good joke there is a kernel of truth. I think those little flashes of self-perspective you're showing one another are both insecurities but also glimpses of your bond to each other. I would only start to worry if you don't feel those things.
ReplyDeleteI love this post. I think that everyone has trust issues, we all wonder if someone is being completely honest with us or if they are misleading us. The point is, many of these questions are unnecessary as most people don't enter into relationships that they don't intend to maintain.
ReplyDeleteI believe that when we let those insecurities bubble to the surface, sometimes they manifest themselves in negative ways. Example: the nagging wife. She is on her husband all the time because she feels that he doesn't care or perhaps she feels like he is running around. The husband feels that the nagging is a negative too, as though she doesn't trust him. At the end of the day, however, it would all be solved if they both just took each other at the other's word--that they love them, that they care about them, and that they wouldn't run around on them.
Don't feel guilty about your friends. Don't feel guilty that you have a relationship that works; feel fortunate. Try not to sweat the details and just go with it. If you start scrutinizing everything you might start nagging or becoming withdrawn thereby chipping away at the foundation of this wonderful marriage.
Know that what you have is priceless no matter how you cut it. You are blessed and I wish you all the luck as you continue upon this party boat of life
-David