Don't call me Peter Petrelli

I recently took a Facebook quiz (insert groan here) and discovered that the answer to the burning question, "Which Heroes character are you?" is Peter Petrelli. Initially I scoffed at this notion - I am not full of mid-20's angst! However, upon further reflection (which is all I seem to do these days), I realized that Yes, perhaps I am like Peter Petrelli. Not the angst part, but the empathy part.

When I was a little girl, my mother was fascinated by my ability to mimic her emotions. To prove this point to my father, she sat me down on the floor (I was around 4 years old) and pretended to cry. I immediately started to cry also. This sticks in my memory as the beginning of my co-crying existence.

I am one of those saps who cries at nearly anything - the 90 second Hallmark commercials, the predictable chick flicks, etc. If it is remotely sad or uplifting, I get teary. Just recently I got that fluttery feeling while watching a Gatorade commercial. Gatorade, people!

For those of you who think that co-crying is lame, I agree! I am sometimes irritated by the betrayal of my tear ducts. I am angered that I can't control my body. Then I remind myself that many people have this "disorder" only it isn't a reaction to crying. Perhaps it's a reaction to vomiting. Have you ever gagged when you watched someone vomit? Yeah, same thing for me, except with tears.

You're probably wondering what this has to do with me looking for a job. Well, here it is - I'm sad. And I'm probably going to shed a tear or two (or five or twenty) over the next few weeks. In fact, it has already started.

Last week I facilitated an abbreviated workshop about Change Management. At the end of the presentation, I looked all 26 people in the eye and said something along the lines of this, "As some of you know, I was not offered a job with ***. I want you all to know that it has been a pleasure working with each of you. I have enjoyed your participation and your humor through the years. All of you are the reason that I love my job. Thank you and good luck."

So what do these people decide to do? They give me a freaking standing ovation. Jerks. I completely started to well up! And to make matters worse, I couldn't just politely exit stage left. I had to wait for the Senior Manager to make some gracious comments, shake my hand, and then give me a hug. Oh, the horror.

Three days later, I get a 4 paragraph e-mail from a person at the meeting thanking me for everything, telling me that I am his favorite trainer, etc. And guess what I did when I read it? Yep, you got it. Tears - 2, Nikol - 0.

*** Lesson learned: The mind really does control the body.